Who's to blame for Movie 43?

When I head "Na-na-na" by My Chemical Romance promoting Movie 43, I thought the movie was going to be great, because great bands always associate themselves with great movies, right?

wrong.

My friends and I were so psyched to see this, but after the first few minutes--yes all it took was a few minutes--we were all trying to pin the blame on who chose this for our seldom movie night. we had no one to blame but ourselves as we watched Kate Winslet go on a blind date with a guy (Hugh Jackman) who had balls on his chin. You read that right. BALLS. ON. HIS.CHIN. Think of a real Peter Griffin, but thinner, smarter and more handsome.

The movie is about a man (Dennis Quaid--who is later made clear that he is insane,) pitching a list of movie ideas to a Hollywood executive played by Greg Kinnear, and each pitch is a sketch, and each sketch is more offensive and crude then the last, which makes for the entirety of the movie, although in between the sketches when the scene involves Quaid and Kinnear, they're not bad at all. the sketch-breaks has a better storyline than the movie.

 Although the movie itself is 85 minutes, it only takes three minutes to realize what a big FUCK YOU the audience was in for from Hollywood. I saw the movie three weeks ago and I've been too traumatized (and busy with school) to write about it until now.

This movie had an all star cast, from Dennis Quaid to Emma Stone and Halle Berry to the guy who played McLovin in superbad. (Name not needed, for he is McLovin.) so how did this cast of funny and great actors get sucked into this hot mess of a movie? It's been reported by The Huffington Post that the director Peter Farrelly harassed much of the cast to do their part for up to four years before it was finally released, even saying that the Balls-on-his-chin sketch was actually filmed four years ago. It's also been said that the reason it took so long to make was because many actors said no (with good reason,) and they had busy schedules. The movie itself is like one long sketch show, and each of the sketches are independently directed by someone else, and Farrlelly just pieces it all together to create a cluster-fuck of movie mayhem.

I won't lie though, I was laughing during some skits like one that's now being called "homeschooling" and "super hero speed dating." The rest was just pointless filler with crude jokes, explicit language to emphasize on the crude jokes and it's not really my type of humor.

The movie also had an actual Tampax commercial, to which my close friend Manny states that it's an actually good idea for a national commercial. The commercial is part of the continuing line of sketches. It shows to women swimming in the ocean and one of them gets eaten by a shark. The commercial ends saying how Tampax is now Leak-Proof.

Kevin's mom playing bitchy teacher

The "Homeschooling" skit is about some new neighbors having coffee at their neighbor's house (played by Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts,) one night when they get into the discussion of how they prefer to home school their teenage son Kevin, played by Jeremy Allen White. The new neighbors say that high school is supposed to be filled with awkward times and experiences to grow from, and the skit shows all the funny and fucked up ways Kevin's parents make their home a high school environment. From his mom being his bitchy teacher, the bitchy popular girl, Kevin's first kiss and attempt to be his first first. Now that's traumatizing. His dad isn't any better, being his asshole PE coach and asshole bully. They throw high school parties and Kevin can't come in because he's not popular enough, even though it's his house. Towards the end of the skit, The new neighbors are very disturbed by their behavior but that's when Kevin walks into the room. He's polite and seems like a normal teenager, telling his parents he's going out with his girlfriend, who was waiting for him outside. When his parents say they'd love to say 'hi' to her, he goes into the broom closet and pulls out a doll made up from a mop with his mom's picture on it. They all exchange pleasantries  who says low brow comedy isn't occasionally funny?

superhero parodies are almost always funny. Almost.

The super hero speed dating with Kristen Bell as super girl who goes on a date with robin (played by Justin Long) and Batman (Jason Sudeikis) pretty much tries to speed things along even after running into his ex, Wonder Woman (Leslie Bibb), because he's trying to catch Penguin (John Hodgman) who turns out to be the Riddler in disguise. This was funny to me because I love superhero stuff, and Kristen Bell can play anyone she wants in Hollywood, but she will always be Veronica Mars to me.

When it was released in the UK, instead of the movie being a series of movie pitches, it follows three teenagers in search of the most banned movie ever made and to find it, they use rule 43 of the internet, which is that you can find anything on the internet if you're willing to look for it long enough. That plot sounds so much better than the movie pitch idea. If that's the 43rd rule, what happened to the other 42? Thanks to said internet, I found them, and in the process, have lost hope for the next generation and humanity.

Although the movie bombed for the most part, I have to give it to the director, he got the actors he wanted, even if they were unwilling to do so, and look extremely uncomfortable in the process, they still did it, and movie goers like me will think twice before watching anything that's directed by PETER FARRELLY.
I recommend to see this movie with friends who like really bad movies, because Movie 43 is already being called one of the worst films ever made.